If you haven’t heard of Gears of War by now you gotta be living in a cave. Even the Microsoft-hating, Wii/PS3-buying, remote-waving monkeys have heard of Gears of War. It’s the reason non-Xbox360 consolers everywhere need consolation. Because they got stuck with FarCry (emphasis on the CRY) for Wii or blew their cash on a shiny PS3 and can’t even afford a new game. If you are still holding out, read our review below. If you own an XBox360, buy Gears of War. If you don’t, buy an XBox360! Please note: the language and graphic content for this game may not be appropriate for young gamers.

Graphics

In a word, stunning. The whole game looks like a pre-rendered cutscene. From screen-splattering gore as you rev your primary weapon’s built-in chainsaw, to the realistic lighting and high-resolution textures, the graphics are mind-bogglingly beautiful. Cool character animation like dive-rolls and rolling across open doorways add viewing pleasure to the gritty chaos. Most of the characters in the game are the size of steroidal football players with bad attitudes, optimal for havoc-wreakery. The post-apocalyptic atmosphere of the game is flawlessly executed.

Sound

The overall quality of Gears of War’s sound was on par with any other good game out there. The thing that put this game over the top in the sound category was the fun and immersing voice acting. Sure, some of the dialogue was cheesy, but the characters all had individual personalities and their banter was, at times, hilarious. We looked forward to our character, Marcus Fenix’, commentary on events in the game. His ultra-low growl going back and forth with other characters accelerated the plot and fit his character perfectly.

Gameplay

This ain’t your average run-n-gun! First of all, it’s not really a first person shooter at all. Most of Gears of War is played behind your character. While aiming you have a sort of over-the-shoulder view and during a chainsaw massacre you have a sort of side view. It’s easy to get used to and much more fun to watch since you can see your character do lots of cool moves.

The developers played a game of paintball in the woods and experienced, first-hand, the terror of being crouched behind a wall while your enemy hammers the area around you with bullets (or paintballs). They dropped the classic, circle-strafing shooter strategy to try and recapture that feeling of pinned-down chaos.

They were successful. Marcus Fenix (your character) ducks behind doors, blocks, fences and anything else that sticks out. Sometimes you spend the firefight pinned down behind a few sandbags. Should you chance leaning out for a good shot or just fire blindly over the wall? You may have to break cover and run madly through the crossfire to save a buddy before he bleeds out. Oh, and if you encounter any enemies on the way feel free to chainsaw them in a gory spray. Or, if they’re down but still kicking, you can pull the ol’ curb-stomp to guarantee that they’re out of the fight!

The best thing about Gears of War is that it’s surprisingly easy to figure out. One button puts you into the nearest cover. That same button, combined with a direction, can have you leaping over walls, diving sideways or charging through a doorway. Aiming out of cover is also easy to figure out but hard to time perfectly to get shots off without taking a bullet or two yourself.

The health system in Gears of War is also simple. If you are not actively taking damage you are regenerating health. Damage is indicated by a bloody logo in the middle of the screen. When it is bright red it’s going to take more than a paramedic to bring you back. But, if you can get back into cover before you actually die there is a good chance you will recover quickly.

Gears of War’s selection of weapons is just right. You can carry grenades, two main weapons and a pistol (realistically stowed on your back). There are a few types of pistols and several types of main weapon but we were very happy with the machine gun. It works great for medium and semi-long range. It also includes a “variable torque” chainsaw that is quite effective at close range. You can also carry fun tools like the lever-action shotgun, a sniper-rifle and something aptly-named the Torque Bow.

Reloading is very interesting in Gears of War. If you don’t want to deal with it you can just wait for Marcus to reload his gun when it runs dry. Or, you can try for an “active reload.” Under your current ammo is a reload bar that has a white line on it. When it’s time to reload you can hammer the reload button when the timer is over the white bar. If you nail it, you reload almost instantly. However, if you miss, Marcus has to bang on his gun for an extra second or two to make up for your incompetence. This adds an extra element of skill to the firefight.

The missions don’t just have you fighting through round after round. Sometimes you face an enemy that isn’t affected by standard weapons, sometimes you have to perform a certain action to get a buddy to safety. Sometimes you’re on a train, in a railroad car, in a six-wheeled buggy or underground. Each chapter brings its own events and adds variety. The chapters are broken into checkpoints where the game is autosaved. Checkpoint saving systems are near number one on our list of gaming annoyances but Gears of War checkpoints are close enough together that it’s not a burden to play through again when you die. After you beat a chapter you can go back and replay it in Coop mode or on a harder difficulty.

Longevity

Honestly, Gears of War is a fairly linear and short game. There are a few points where you can choose to take one of two pathways but the paths don’t vary widely. There are 5 Acts with about 6 Chapters per Act. If you are a dedicated player you can probably beat this game on the easy level in a week. However, Gears of War is a game that is honestly fun to play through again and again. You can play it single player, then do Coop, then do different difficulties. After you’ve accomplished that you can go online and duke it out with other COGs. There are also many different achievements to unlock, such as collecting the “COG” tags of fallen comrades. We felt like the game was fairly short but intense enough to merit several playthroughs with our buddies.

Technical

Smooth framerates. All the way through. Even in split-screen. We had no, none, zip, zilch, zero problems with this game from a technical standpoint.